Ladder Rungs

A personal script.

It’s a luke-warm evening and 3 friends are standing outside of an older brick walled building. They are standing facing a ladder meant for maintenance purposes.

BOY: (takes a deep breath) Okay, let’s do this.

GIRL 1: You don’t have to be nervous! It’s not like we’re doing anything bad…

BOY: Well, it’s not like we’re helping out the community by doing this either!

GIRL 1: Do you want me to go first?

BOY: No, I want to do it, I’m just a little bit nervous because I know that if anything bad happens I’ll be the one getting in trouble and you guy’s will get away..

GIRL 2: Y’know, if I get caught this will go on my personal record, since I’m 18 and all.

GIRL 1: Nothing is going to happen.

GIRL 2: Are you going to bring the blankets up?

(The boy slowly starts to climb the rusty ladder)

GIRL 1: I’ll throw them up when he gets up there.

(The boy gets to the top and disappears for a few seconds. Girl 1 throws the blankets up and starts climbing. Girl 2 doesn’t wait for Girl 1 to get to the top before she starts climbing.)

(When they get to the top they all automatically bend over and shuffle along the gravelly rooftop to the edge which overlooks main street. The clock tower, subway, hair salon, and cafe are to the left. The bank, pawnshop, flower shop, and theater to the right.)

BOY: Whoa (the Boy whispers)

(Girl 1 takes a look over the edge and spots 2 women in their 20’s power walking down the sidewalk with strollers in front of them)

GIRL 1: I’m going to spit my gum at them! (she whispers)

GIRL 2: Don’t be stupid!

BOY: Yeah! Now that’s just asking for us to get caught…

GIRL 1: Fine then! (she moves away from the ledge and away from the boy’s side and back to wear Girl 2 is lying looking at the stars. She puts her head on her stomach and the threesome is quiet.)

BOY: (he whispers) If I could just stop this one moment in time it would be a picture of that (he screws up his face and makes a frame with his outstretched hands) and this feeling I have right now.

(Girl 2 giggles at something Girl 1 whispered to her which makes Girl 2’s stomach jiggle which also jiggles Girl 1’s head which makes Girl 1 giggle too. Neither of them heard what the Boy said but it doesn’t phase him as he keeps looking at the street and the drizzle of late night drivers and coffee drinkers.)

GIRL 2: (there’s a lull in the ‘girl’ talk and her attention is brought back to the boy) We need to find you someone. (there’s a pause)

GIRL 1: Yeah..sometimes I feel bad that I’m always in a relationship and you’re not.

(The boy is still looking out on the street and he spots a police car)

BOY: Get down! (he whispers harshly and bends forward in an awkward position.)

GIRL 1: What?

BOY: It was a police car! (he starts shaking from a mix of adrenaline and nervousness. He slowly crawls his way to the back of the building)

GIRL 2: Which way did they go?

BOY: They drove right beside us!

GIRL 1: They’re gone now.

BOY: Let’s go before

GIRL 2: I can go down first.

(Girl 2 hesitantly turns around and with her foot looks for the first rung. She finds it and starts going down. Girl 1 starts climbing. By the time the Boy starts his decent both of them are at the bottom. Talking to each other. When the Boy gets to the bottom they start walking away. The Boy smiles to himself.)

GIRL 2: My friend got arrested the other day.

GIRL 1: What for?

GIRL 2: She was cutting flowers off of people’s lawn and she made a pretty bouquet! Somehow the police heard about it and arrested her for trespassing with a weapon.

GIRL 1: That’s bizarre.

BOY: (he whispers) If I were making an autobiography that would be in it. (The girls don’t notice as they are a few steps ahead and are engrossed in each other. The Boy continues on smiling and walking behind them.)

Not the Musical Cats

I asked you where you were and you said behind the coffee shop. I asked where in the parking lot. You said Marco…and I thought you meant you saw Marco but then I caught on and I whispered polo. I walked past your mom on the phone in the white jeep thing and you yelped at me. I looked around and said oh and walked over to your window. You mom’s boobs were nice, thanks for sharing that secret with me brother. We got in my rust bucket and drove to the library which we could have easily walked too. I don’t know why I told you to go to the coffee shop instead of the library. Maybe I was so flustered I forgot to get my tea. Whatever, okay? I put the books in the slot and pretended like I’d just thought of a great idea. “OH! Let’s go swinging!” So we did, I’m not sure if I ran or walked slowly, either way we got there and I started swinging. I had to get lower or I’d never hear what you were saying.

Is this just a puddle, because it really looks like a lake!

We were on the swings twice that day. Once on a rubber one, and once on a wooden one that didn’t fit your hips. I felt like the bigger person, metaphorically, because you have love handles and man boobs, even though I’m older than you. I felt like an older brother. You were annoying but I was able to look past that and be kind to you. I held my head back and wanted to stop time, wanted to look at the bright blue sky with angry looking clouds with the red paint cracking on the metal bar with that feeling of goodness and peace. I was peaceful and that doesn’t happen much. Not much at all. I wish I had usb port in my head so I could download that picture and post it all of the internets. I’d be a god, or I’d just be famous, or both. Someway or my chum texted me. It felt good you remembered me. I asked you if you wanted to hang out with my chum even though you didn’t know her. You didn’t say much and I knew you didn’t want to but there wasn’t anything else we could do in a park. We went to her house and she was sleepy. Something about levititing occurred. I don’t know what that means but it gets the people going. We ended up going to a cheap store where I was unsure of buying sunglasses but I did anyways because regretting shit gets me down. They broke yesterday, I think my nose is too big. Fuck genetics.

I went home for a couple hours and tore off my jeans because I’d regretted putting them on in the morning because it looked cold outside but was really humid. Nobody likes sticky jeans aside from those people who never like to wear clothes that reveal their legs because of a huge birthmark, scar, or patch of hair. I put on shorts that had the number 45 sewn on in metallic silk. Like butter for the eyes. There weren’t any pockets and when my other friend texted me I said I’d only come out to play if I could put things in her purse. When I got to the door her mom said she had an extra purse if I needed it and I said no thanks. Because I’m polite like that and I have a murse sitting in my room somewhere. We invited ourselves over to another friend and she changed in front of us. She asked if I was uncomfortable and I said “Its not like it’s making me hard or anything” and she said “true”. She took a polaroid of my friend looking like a baby. Her cheetah panties were showing, just a little bit. Made her look like a baby looking for love like babies usually look like. So she got dressed and we headed to another persons house to have a bonfire. I sat and listened because when there’s more than two people I can’t do otherwise. I don’t like making myself butt in. I listened for a long time and took another mental picture of the fire and sky and trees and stars and sounds and water and pond and swing and tv glow.

I left because I had to wake up early the next day to eat a huge breakfast. I’d rather eat a huge night snack than a huge breakfast but nobody knows that. I was in sandals and shorts, thats odd. I don’t like my calfs or my feet, ew gross, your sick. I walked on every single lawn and did a circle around a fire hydrant because it was red and red means caution. I stopped and there was a cat. I sat on my haunches and held my hand out in acceptance. The cat looked for a while and finally got up and stretched. I wished I could stretch like that. He sniffed my hand and then started rubbing against my arm. I couldn’t move for some reason. Maybe I subconsciously knew that the cat would be afraid if I moved, maybe I didn’t want to do anything but have things done to me. After a minute I got up and took of my sandals and felt the pavement. I looked back and the cat was looking at me. There was no light on it now and I thought it could be a spirit or a ghost. I turned back and walked. I walked on the grass and my toes got wet. I could barely carry all the things I had in my hands, a key with a tonka truck and new york, and wallet with a fox, glasses that looked like bugs eyes, and brown flip flops. I stopped at the stop sign and I saw a cat. This time it had a weird shadow. I bought jeans despite what my mom said about my dad fainting. I always like the idea of fainting so maybe that’s why I got them. When I was trying them on the second time I head a song that I wish I could recall. I drove home with too many windows on and when I turned into my garage I thought I saw a cat but then thought it was my imagination so I drove in and stopped. My heart fell and I imagined a squished cat.

That Photograph

I wish I had that look in your eyes. I wish I was in the dreamy state this photograph is. That photograph gets me, gets what I wish I had. Maybe it’s a look into my future but maybe its just a photograph. Somebody elses memory that I have no business wishing were mine.

Everything was yellow. Even the green room had a tint of yellow. I didn’t want to miss it, any of it, I wanted to take a picture so it could relive that moment of yellow over and over. The camera made a weird buzzing noise and I tried to fix it. I think moisture got inside, and the film had actually been advancing like I thought it didn’t. Then it just got dark. Darker and darker. I gave water to the ponies and watched the sky. It was dark where I was lookin, but it was pink off to the side. I held onto the fence and leaned way back so all the pressure was in my hands. It was going to start raining and I watched the lighting. No loud thunder claps just tentacles of lightning splaying every which way. Maybe I’d get hit in the back yard and lie face down in the dirt like a 2×4. My parents would look out the window an hour later and cry. Or maybe I wouldn’t even have to get hit by any force of nature and just lie face down in the dirt. My jeans are already black so I should I get dirty? We’re all just coy fish packed into a small pond with dirty water trying to breathe.

Put Your Hand On Me

Singing is just something I do, especially when I’m alone. I sang this song that I thought would sound nice as a duet and I mixed up the vocals and made it have a bit of screamo edge to it. I finished up a few renditions of it and was just looking out on the yard. Everything is always green but especially tonight in the soft evening light. You appeared behind me and wrapped your arms around my neck so that the crook of both of them crossed each other. That made me smile and feel light like I was in a wading pool. I felt embarrassed that you might have heard my singing attempts and then thought if I didn’t feel embarrassed I wouldn’t be embarrassed and it was as easy as that. I’m surprised you ever got to know me because I’m usually not like this. It doesn’t come naturally to me. I have to try and it seems like you don’t try at all. That’s just you and you’re perfect to me. Perfect for me. You’ve taught me so much I feel bad that I didn’t have much to offer up to you. But you must be a good teacher because you’ve stayed with me. I hardly believe that someone is staying with me for once not the other way around. I wouldn’t mind if you forced me to do something and I refused but you forced me anyways and I pretended I didn’t like it but really I did. Rape could be on the tip of my tongue but really nobody knows what it means anymore. It could mean something for us. You would force me, and threaten to hurt me if I told anybody and then you’d leave and I’d be alone again. I’d get sick again but I’d know exactly how guilty you’d feel about making me do things and I wouldn’t care because I’d know that it was nothing to be guilty about. We’d go our separate ways, like in the movies, and I’d find somebody that I could teach things too. I might even grow some facial hair just like you. I’d be firm but soft. I’d grab the back of your head, and play with your heart a little. I’d graze your lower back with my nails and you’d say it tingled but in a good way. Just put your hand on me. And then you kiss me and I can feel the broom bristles and the irony water and my senses are so alert. I finally feel real. No more mannequins or pure air. I’ll be real, and you’ll be you. We’ll go our separate ways.