Carnivores

I was just eating, eating like an animal mind you. And eating some more. Then it hit me, my sausage burger had meat in it and I didn’t want to throw up in front of my relatives so I kept it down and kept eating, like all the other animals.

Enough is enough, I will not bend over backwards for you again but I’ll do anything in my power to do what I want instead of feeling sick. I think I smell like smoke but who’s smelling anyways.

I visited somebody at work today, I ate breakfast for lunch, I walked in the sunlight, I felt sick, I lived life in the fast lane literally, I got soaked in the rain, and I texted somebody.

Die Die Die

Stupid milk, stupid crates, stupid faker, stupid questions, stupid sensei, stupid old people, stupid hair, stupid weather, stupid awkward people, stupid love, stupid sickness, stupid morning, stupid feelings, stupid.

“I feel sorry for you”

My room echoes its so cleaned. I can barely function in it anymore. I drank watery coffee this morning. I didn’t read. I didn’t for in love. I didn’t laugh till it hurt. I didn’t feel perfectly fine. I did however feel uncomfortable. I did feel sad. I did feel sorry. I did feel selfish. I did feel restless. I did feel scared. I did feel mad. I did feel uncontrollable. I did feel fucked.

I Saved Yours

I saved your fucking life. I got you help when you needed help. I tried fixing you and you just wanted to fix me. I smile when your mom walks past, she sometimes ignores me and it feels like a slap in the face. I’m the reason why your daughter still eats at your dining room table, I’m the reason why your daughter still watches television in your living room, I’m the reason why you didn’t have to go to your babies funeral.

The kid bashed her head into the grocery cart and fell down, she looked from her mom to me to the old lady buying canned mushrooms. Your daughter looked at her too. She got up and pushed the cart and didn’t cry, not because it didn’t hurt but because she was so embarrassed. Your daughter walked past me like a stiff plywood plank and I felt sad in a way that she didn’t want to recognize me.

Possible Complications

He’ll be loud around other people but quiet around me. He’ll be athletic. He’ll have blond hair. He’ll be friendly but awkward at first. He’ll appreciate dreams and the little things in life. He’ll like ethnic food. He’ll have two close friends but he still keeps secrets from them. He’ll be unique but won’t stick out in a crowd. He’ll be compulsive (positive and negative). He’ll go to acoustic shows. He’ll wear sweat bands. He’ll have a small penis. He’ll never get a tattoo. He’ll make me mellow. He’ll make me swear. He’ll let me try new things. He’ll be mine.