I don’t feel bad about doing nothing but thats not my problem.  You won’t answer, I’m not answering.  This time of year shouldn’t make me feel this way, but it does.  That heavy feeling in my chest isn’t nothing.  Its something and its making me sick.  I couldn’t move if I wanted to.  And somehow it always ends up like this.  I can’t wait until I can be whole and happy but look back.